Tuesday, May 29, 2007


1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just bugger off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you are not getting any.

5. Don't aspire to be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.

7. Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think that nobody cares whether you are dead or alive, try missing a few mortgage repayments.

10. Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. Have you ever lent someone $20 and never seen that person gain? It was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days we are the flies, some days we are the windscreens.

16. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

20. There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if you're lips are moving.

22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry and we get smacked on the bum. From there on in, life gets worse.

25. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

26. Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

Go, You Good Thing!.....

New Zealand Maori through to Churchill Cup final

New Zealand Maori breezed into the final of the Churchill Cup tournament by beating Ireland A 50-22 in Exeter, England, this morning (NZ time).

The defending champions will play England Saxons in the Cup decider on Sunday morning (NZ time) at Twickenham.


Initially, the Maori had few opportunities to execute their trademark backplay and had to rely on counter attacks sparked by skipper Rua Tipoki, wing Hosea Gear and first five-eighth Tamati Ellison to keep the Irish honest.


Ellison cut the deficit with a fifth minute penalty before his side took the lead from their first breakout of the match.

A clever Shannon Paku kick through after a lineout saw Gear swoop for his side's opening try, which Ellison converted.


A Gear surge close to the line was finished off by Paku whose try was converted by Ellison in the 31st minute.

With the Irish down to 14 men after halfback Frank Murphy was sinbinned in the 35th minute for a blatant offside, Ellison touched down after beating a couple of tackles.


Gear took three minutes to double his tally and May atoned for his sin binning with a couple by the 56th minute, with Ellison converting all three.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Ahoy, Me Hearties.....

A10 has been waiting to go and see the new Pirates of the Carribean movie (I've been waiting, too, but my focus is more on Cap'n Jack than the movie itself, lol). I hope the people behind him can see past his hair when The Lad and him go this afternoon:

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Go Ahead - Make My Breakfast.....

I heard a few muffled chortles behind me this morning as I was rattling round in the kitchen preparing the breakfast, and this is the sight that greeted me when I turned around, lol:

Fresh out of bed and into the Dress Up Box! Complete with hat, shades, dagger and gun - you gotta love a 4 year old boy!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

NZ Maori Crush Canada.....

NZ MAORI (A Tahana 2 P Te Whare S Waldrom G Horton C Bruce J Kawau T Ellison W Smith tries, Bruce 7 con).

Friday, May 25, 2007

The Magic Show (Part Two).....

So the costumes are sorted, the tricks have been polished and the delivery is faultless after all day has been spent perfecting THE SHOW! The photos don't really do the event justice, as it was pitch black, with a single spotlight trained on the performer - the atmosphere was electric (and then the flash lit up the whole place every time I took a photo - ah, well!)

A10 fills in the starting hiccup with an impromptu adlib version of his finale. This version involves this nail that mysteriously disappears:

After some careful thought on just where that sneaky nail may have got to:

It is discovered behind his ear!!!!! I don't know why we never thought to look there in the first place ;o)

So L4 is now ready with his "Super Dooper Card Trick": It involves these cards:

Then some very intense and very verbose wand waving and magic conjuring:

And amazingly, this happened! I KNOW!!!!! We could hardly believe it ourselves (and I don't think L4 gets it to this day), but there was lots of suitably impressed applause because the delivery really was impeccable:

Don't you just adore that lippy application?

Another little seamless-delivery hiccup, so The Lad treats us to one of his Amazing Card Tricks (if you look closely at the cards they aren't actually the same ones, lol! - it's not that he's useless and we're unobservant, it's just that he did it twice and the photos are a mixture of the two tricks). So he hands A10 two random cards:

A10 places them in the deck, wherever he wants:

Then The Lad shuffles the two piles together on the table:

With a flick of his wrist, the entire pack goes flying across the table bar two cards - astoundingly, they're the one's A10 put back in the deck!

Now it's L9's turn, The Lad is asked to choose a card, any card, without letting her see (she kindly turned her back so he could point it out for the camera):

After a few re-deals and repeats of "What column is it in now":

Almost like MAGIC! She is able to select his card from the entire deck of cards!:

Now it's H7's turn to do a suspiciously similar trick! A10 chooses a card from her selection:

H7 does a few redeals and queries "What column is it in?" a few times:

And that MAGIC must have been strong, cos it hung around long enough to enable H7 to correctly point out THE CARD!:

Now, seeing as how we're running with a theme of suspiciously similar at the moment, A10's next trick involves this nail again:

It gets placed carefully in his hand - he reminds us at this point that he hasn't read this trick anywhere, he's figured it out all by himself:

One MAGIC clap, and the nail disappears:

Any ideas on where it could have got to? We were scratching our heads too:

Would you believe it? It was behind his ear again!!!!! And do you know what else? He ended up with quite a collection because *three* more nails magically disappeared from his hand and ended up behind his ear. I tell you what.....:

Back to H7 now, and her amazingly powerful eyes! She closed them while I shook the dice and showed the audience what I had rolled:

I placed it inside the little black canister, and then H7 placed that canister inside another equally black and non-see-through canister, waved her magic wand and was able to tell us all just what number I had rolled! How *did* she do it?:

Now L9's Amazingly Clever Cards. They could not only hear what she was saying, but they could answer tricky spelling questions as well! L9 would ask "What does A-(put down a card)-C-(put down another card)-E-(put down yet another card) spell?" The very next card that was turned face-up was, and I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself - AN ACE!!!:

Right up to a JACK we sat through, er, I mean, her cards managed!:

H7 again and her amazing disappearing red ball:

It started out in that cup, she put the lid on it, waved her magic finger (the wand was probably being re-charged for the next trick) for a bit:

And VOILA! She removed the lid and the ball had disappeared - we checked behind A10's ear, but, alas - that cute little red ball is lost forever:

So L4 takes centre stage again, he presented us with his magic trick tin, put the lid on it, said some magic words, and took the lid off again, and we were once again amazed at this boys delivery of non-tricks! ;o):

H7 shows us a plain old playing card she has bent slightly so it will stand on it's end:

Then horrifies us all by attempting to balance the (almost-)good stemware on said card - NO! Don't smash the glass!!! - But Wait! - What's all the panic for? We forgot she was MAGIC and of course it balanced there quite nicely:

A10 chooses a card from L9's deck and shows the enraptured audience:

L9 shuffles them all back together and begins to peel them off the top of the deck, one by one:

All of a sudden she stops! "Is THIS your card?" she queries of A10!:

A final TA DAH and the lights went on and the curtains came down to thundering applause as the evening draws to a close:

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Magic Show (Part One):

While they were mucking around (anyone who has performed or been an audience participant in any Family Show will know what I mean here) The Lad and I showed A10 our chicken trick:

If I'm ever round you and you have a few minutes to spare, let me show this delightfully long tale about a chicken and a hedgehog:

L9 calls us back to attention and asks us whether we could get the baked bean tin off the paper without touching the tin?:

We tried all sorts of whipping the paper out from underneath type tricks, till we gave up and L9 showed us her way - she simply rolled the paper up and as she rolled it, the tin slid off the paper. Tricky!:

Then H7 shows us her amazing ball-suspended-in-a-sealed-glass-box-on-a-string trick - how will she ever get that ball out of that box without touching it?:

Of course, all it took was a few magic words and that box literally flew right apart, leaving the ball free to dangle (at least, I *think* that was the essence of the trick - she's not the loudest of public speakers:

And for her next trick ..... she is going to pass this nail right through the palm of her hand!

Slam! She stabs it through her hand and ..... what? Where Is It? "Ooops, sorry!" she says "*That* was the disappearing nail trick - NOT the passing through my hand one!"

A10 has this magic coin:

And a few waves of his hand, some intense audience interaction and he STILL has this magic coin:

So L9 shows us her amazing one-loop-into-two-intertwined-loops trick:

Then L4 shows us how he can stick the magic coin to his forehead:

Say a few magic words:

And the coin disappears!:

They were booed off the stage and told to practice tomorrow and polish their acts, and we'd sit down to a REAL magic show tomorrow night - I can hardly wait!